May 20, 2009
3:27am
It’s been 2 years since I last wrote here. This fancy hard bound notebook with acid-free leaves was a gift from Josh. This pretty diary had been my best friend in moments I felt alone, lonely and lost during our marriage and divorce and the pendulum-like manner of our relationship during and thereafter. My last journal entry is dated August 29, 2007 and like the rest it was also written out of immense sadness and confusion whilst trying to be positive. But now I am writing because I am happy. I have a job which though frustrating and stressful, I enjoy. My family still has issues but generally alright. There have been some quite interesting people I met and rekindled friendships that I treasure more than ever. I will dare say that I am actually doing ok on my own. After a long dark period of my life I am now right side up. I have sown my heart back. Yay!!! ☺ But that is not why I browsed through these pages once more and got a pen and started writing. I am writing because I am in love. I love a man named Yvon. For the first time after Josh, I have come to know this feeling again. I can’t even begin to describe how wonderful it feels! No words can encapsulate the joy I have in my heart at the moment. It’s unbelievable! Odd, really, the circumstances yet it all makes perfect sense. He said he will be my magician and make my dreams come true. Haha. I am not sure if he will even remember that in the weeks to come. But it was sweet nonetheless. I love hearing his voice, talking to him, dreaming with him, dreaming of him. I respect this man and I really love him as a person. I admire him, his passions, his honesty, and sincerity. He makes me feel excited and hopeful and in looooove. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile, and he melts my heart. I have totally let my guards down. I built a fortress around my heart and now they are crumbling to smithereens! Eek! Well, another thing that’s beyond me is the sense of serenity he brings like a kiss of soft breeze after the storm. I love him! I love him. I love him. I love him. And also…I love him! My dear dear Yvon, I hope you are The One, the one great love that a few are blessed to have, that mythical half that people call soul mate or twin soul, that kind of love that’s meant to go on until the last breath. Please don’t break my heart. You are my angel…my sweet sexy handsome lover. I am totally taken with you. So… this will be my last entry on this journal. I am turning a new leaf- and perhaps I will have to get a new journal or do something else to chronicle how our love story unfolds. Perhaps if you were not given by my ex husband I will keep you- but since you are from him… then I will have to say goodbye to you now. Thank you for being the vessel of my thoughts for a long time. I wish I could have written on your pages more often or finished until the last- but be happy for me ok? -I am going to start peeling off the shadows of my past and rise like a phoenix born anew from its ashes. So goodbye my dear diary and I hope I will never have to write along these sad lines again.
With much love,
Me
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